the user-led self-injury organisation.

  • UK
[shortcode here]


How to tell someone about your self-injury

This month, we’ve been encouraging you to tell someone about your self-injury. badges-seek

If you’ve not seen the details of Tell Someone Month and how to get yourself a free LifeSIGNS badge, please visit the Tell Someone Month web page 

It’s all very good us saying “tell someone”, but how do you go about it?

We’ve refreshed our Coming Out webpage to give you some guidance and tips.


The first thing you need to consider is who you are going to tell. It should be someone who you can trust, and who you feel confident with. It’s not a good idea to tell more than one person at once.

Find a time and a place that suits you both, when you will have time to talk and you won’t be disturbed.

It may be helpful for you, and for them, to print off some information about self-injury or to write in your own words why you hurt yourself as a way to cope.

It is hard to predict how anyone is going to react, but be prepared for questions and maybe shock or sadness. They may need time to digest what they have learnt. This is OK. Not everything needs to be said in one sitting. If you have printed off one of our factsheets this is a great resource for them to take away and learn more about self-injury.

If either of you are getting too emotional, distressed or angry, it’s best to leave it for now and come back to the discussion another time.

It’s good to let them know that by telling them, you are taking a step forward in the recovery process, and that to have their emotional support will help you on the journey. Let them know what you would like them to do to help – even if it was just the relief of someone else knowing.


Coming Out isn’t about getting attention; it should be about trusting some relationships and allowing a trusted friend or relative to know you better. It could be the start of reducing your SI, or getting therapy, or seeing the doctor about your depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem or emotional turmoil. It really could be the first step on the long road to becoming a happier person.


Here are a few words from some of our members who have already told someone this month:

If you’re thinking of telling someone, I would encourage you to do it. The result might not always be positive but it’s worth the risk. I feel like a huge weight has lifted.” – Pippin

It made me feel so much better knowing I don’t have to hide it and its made us even closer :)” – Carys

Coming out was one of the best things I could have done, however at first I did find it hard…Coming out means that I can talk about it with people. It’s actually slowed my self-injuring down a lot, and I hope this will continue.” – C

I told my friend.  I explained that I hurt myself and it helps me cope… I was surprised at how well she took it.  Made me feel that much closer to her.” – Peggy

Read more Coming Out stories on our web page.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.